February 08, 2010

Nugepocalypse: The Aftermath

Here's a short, somewhat snarky review of yesterday's Meeting of the Mindless in Houston town. The best part? That "Homescholers For Perry" sign doesn't look photoshopped at all.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:38 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Is That Media Bias In Your Pocket...?

FoxNewsBot Chris Wallace getting excited about interviewing the Palinator.

IMUS: When she…when you interview her, will she be sitting on your lap? [laughter]

WALLACE: One can only hope. [laughter]

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:47 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 04, 2010

Good News, Everybody!

You know, I'd been feeling kind of down since Comrade Obama admitted we no longer have what it takes to go to the Moon. But this makes up for all that. USA! USA! USA!

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 08:49 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

The Nuge...

Three of the most repulsive human beings currently walking the Earth will be hanging out together this Sunday which can only mean one thing...

A 39% CAMPAIGN EVENT!

Noted racist homophobe Ted Nugent will be performing at a rally in support of Sarah Palin who will be there to support 39% who will be there to represent the pitiable. 39% has even decided that Nugent deserved the following praise...

“Not only is Ted one of our nation’s greatest performers, but his dedication to upholding our nation’s Second Amendment rights has been crucial to maintaining the freedom we are able to enjoy as Americans every day,” said Gov. Perry. “I look forward to Ted’s performance, and to the opportunity to join both him and Sarah Palin in sharing the success story Texas has achieved through our state’s unwavering commitment to conservative values based on the belief in limited government and individual freedom.”

First off, how fucked up is it that 39% said this AFTER Nuge had already agreed to perform? I mean, we've all heard the rumors but could this be proof positive that 39% likes to suck cock? Second, is there anyone, anywhere, who seriously thinks that Ted Nugent is somehow responsible for the fact that our Canadian overlords haven't descended from the frigid north to wreck havoc and force us to say 'aboot' instead of 'about'?

Put your hand down, 39%.

In other Republican campaign news, Marvin Hamlisch will be performing at a North Dallas Luby's for Sen. Hutchison and Britney Spears will be performing (You Drive Me) Crazy, in a continuous loop for two hours, at a Plano area fundraiser for Debra Medina. After, they'll hold a panel discussion entitled "If it ain't in thar, ya cain't do it : A primer for morons on the US Constitution".

Posted by mcblogger at 11:23 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 03, 2010

Rep. Brady with the stupid...

It's always good that the Republican caucus gives even their c-team the chance to go out on the field. It's super big of them and, well, reminds us all that there's someone standing up for stupid in Congress.

Today, it was Representative Kevin Brady who was interviewed by Bloomberg and decided to throw President Obama, Democrats and their mutual puppetmasters, the ever evil Unions, for not creating jobs by not passing weak trade deals negotiated by the weakest of all possible weak sisters, President George W. Bush. In point of fact, any time you hear Kevin say something is good, do some research. Today, he thinks we should pass a trade agreement with South Korea, despite the fact that it opens US markets to their companies far more than it opens their markets to our companies.

Kevin thinks we should pass it anyway since it would give us access to their markets (which people smarter than Kevin say won't happen) and made some demonstrably false claim about the Europeans selling stuff in S Korea like it was going out of style. Which they really aren't. He completely glossed over the fact that S Korea has a long, rich history of dumping products from cars to memory chips in the United States, bankrupting our manufacturers, and engaging in the kind of currency manipulation that would make a money launderer blush.

Of course I'm not the only one saying this is a piss poor deal...

A high-ranking Korean official recently admitted to me that the conclusion of the free trade deal between the U.S. and Korea would not result in any significant increase in U.S. exports to Korea.

Some are warning that the recent conclusion of a free-trade deal between the European Union and Korea will put the U.S. at a disadvantage in the Korean market. I'm not very worried about this. The Europeans are unlikely to gain much benefit from the deal and I'd be willing to bet that Korean exports to the EU will climb much more rapidly than EU exports to Korea.

Kevin, bubba, boneheaded decisions like this will put this entire country in the crapper. You're so willing to score cheap political points, you'll sell out your own constituents to do it. That's pretty fucking shameful.

Of course, if you really meant what you said then you need to resign from Congress. You're clearly too goddamn stupid to be there and Americans can't afford to have you running around fucking up the economy which is what your opinions and ideas will do.

Posted by mcblogger at 04:07 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Democratic base vote and Kinky Friedman

Just a quick note... Yesterday on KRLD in Dallas, Kinky decided to hold forth on his views of the office he seeks, His Highness, Commissioner of Agriculture which is apparently not accountable to the Legislature or anyone else once elected. And can set up animal shelters (which another agency controls). And can dictate that Luby's must extend their dinner service to 10 pm, even if all their patrons are cleared out by 6:30.

The interview was little more than a careening mess with Friedman clearly not cognizant that the position really involves more than just name dropping and asking Hightower what he'd do. And, of course, it gave Friedman a chance to misrepresent the DMN for calling him the safe, sane choice (which they did, but only when it comes to driving habits. We think they should check that driving record... someone told me he too doesn't like wearing his seatbelt. And neither does Staples).

But what really got me what was him dropping out there that he'll increase Democratic vote by 7%, according to a good pollster. Which is cool except for one thing... now one knows how much of the Democratic electorate, made up of a large number of the same racial minorities Kinky has used for his insipid comedy routine for years, will decide to come out because he's on the ballot.

On the other side, is Hank Gilbert. He can actually say he's done what Kinky claims he can do. He pulled 7% over the Democratic base vote in 2006 and he's only gotten stronger with Independents and moderate Republicans since through his work to kill the TTC. And, as an added bonus, he doesn't anger the Democratic base.

But, let's look at the numbers. Kinky, in 2006, spent millions to poll 12%. Hank spent just over $100k and proved he could bring in Independent and Republican voters by exceeding the Democratic base vote by 7%. And he doesn't piss off people, like Kinky does.

So much for the case of Kinky bringing in Democratic voters in the general. What's abundantly clear is that every Democrat in a competitive race this year better keep their fingers crossed for Hank.

Posted by mcblogger at 12:24 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

KBH Circling the Drain?

BOR notes (as do many others) that Kay Bailey Hutchison is losing ground in her race to win the TexGOP goobernatorial nod from Governor For Life Rick Perry. Most interesting is that Senator Aging Barbie seems to be shedding likely voters to Calhounatic fruitcake Debra Medina, the sweetheart of the Ron Paul crowd. Guess it's a good thing Kay didn't quit her day job.

Especially lucky are Texas Democrats, since if KBH had resigned her US Senate seat Bill White would still be running against John Sharp and a potential cast of thousands to replace her and the leading contenders going into Monday's Democratic debate could well have been Farouk Shami and Kinky Friedman. While that matchup might not have been lacking in entertainment value, it would have been a gruesome scenario for the TDP, still struggling for relevance after a decade and a half in the statewide political wilderness. Probably not entertaining enough, though, for San Antonio TV station KSAT to have shown it live, bumping The Bachelor.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 11:25 AM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

February 02, 2010

Aw Jeez

UT Jefe Bill "Leatherface" Powers sees shadow, decrees six more weeks of whining about demise of Cactus Cafe.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 02:48 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

Gee, Ken, you seem to have missed something

Ken Herman, being the remarkably astute commentator that he wants everyone to think he is, has come across something that is, well, truly shocking.

SOMETIMES CAMPAIGNS SAY MEAN


THINGS ABOUT THEIR OPPONENTS

(ESPECIALLY DURING PRIMARIES) AND

AFTER THEY KISS AND MAKE UP

I know this revelation may come as a shock to people who aren't over the age of 6, but to the rest of us it's kinda par for the course. Ken, being enterprising, made it the meat of an entire column. And even used a quote from yours truly. What he left out were some even juicier quotes from a guy who recently went to work for someone he spent time criticizing. So, in an effort to help Ken out, here's some of the funny...

“Jason Stanford, spokesman for Democrat Chris Bell's campaign, is not impressed – and he doesn't think voters are either. "I haven't heard anyone saying he'd be a great governor," he says. "I think that he's a funny candidate and a hell of an author, but no one comes up [to me] and says, 'If we could only get Kinky Friedman into the governor's office.'" GOP strategist Miller says that Friedman will certainly attract welcome extra attention to the race but agrees that he's facing an uphill battle. "Initially, my view was that Kinky Friedman [would be] treated with humor, and treated lightly, unless and until he gets traction," he says. And Friedman's unlikely to get any traction the way he's campaigning now, says Stanford. "He hasn't gone any farther than to say, 'Hey, look at this!'" he says. In short, he says, Friedman is long on one-liners and short on any meaningful policy positions. "The easy part is convincing people [that Perry has] done a bad job," he says. "Step two is that you've got to convince voters that you know how to do better. And no one is really expecting that from Kinky Friedman."” Austin Chronicle

So he was incompetent then, but now he's suddenly competent? Any chance that change, which only you perceive, is because he's now writing you a check?

Bell campaign consultant Jason Stanford shakes off his candidate's failed run against Perry, muddied as the field was by the populist independent campaigns of Kinky Friedman and Carole Keeton Stray­horn. "There was a pervasive confusion about that race, but the issue was simple: If Dem­o­crats had voted for the Dem­o­crat, Chris Bell would be the governor," he argued. Austin Chronicle

So Kinky's to blame for Bell's loss? Or the voters?

Ken doesn't get into any of that which, in my opinion, is far more interesting. He also doesn't ask why Kinky's acting like he's never asked Farouk for money, even after he took more than $1.3 million through 2009 from Farouk and his business partner. He does ask why Shami would care about the race for Commissioner of Agriculture since he's a hair magnate. I guess Ken missed that Shami owns three ranches where he grows produce (olives, for one) that's used in the CHI organic line. Maybe that's why he's got an interest in supporting a competent candidate this time around.

Life's full of entirely too much, well, crap. Why is it so surprising to some that even the deadliest of political enemies can forge alliances once they realize they actually have a lot in common? Just look at Bob Bullock vs. everyone else at one time or another.

Posted by mcblogger at 10:57 AM | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

February 01, 2010

First Obama bombs the Moon, now he decides it isn't worth returning there

Interesting how he came to a different conclusion about Afghanistan.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:32 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 31, 2010

Fun Fact

Annual salaries

General David Petraeus, Commander of the US Central Command @$250,000
Sean Hannity, Fox News resident clown $20,000,000

Contact Fox and ask why their two-bit entertainer makes more money than the man responsible for protecting Hannity's freedom to act like a buffoon.

Posted by Captain Kroc at 04:16 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

¿Quien es mas Loathsome?

The Beast's list of the Fifty Most Loathsome Americans of 2009 is out. Normally, this wouldn't count as a Texas story except look who snagged the coveted Number Five Spot. . .

5. Rick Perry

Charges: Perry is to justice what Jeff Dunham is to comedy. When the Texas Forensic Science Commission began reviewing the flawed ‘91 arson case against Cameron Todd Willingham, who was wrongly executed in 2004 for the murder of his three children, Perry responded by replacing 4 of the 9 Commission members with capital punishment enthusiasts to boost his electoral stock. He also riled his benighted base with the kind of secessionist rhetoric that would only seem hypocritical if Texas accepted federal stimulus money, which Perry decried, and hey, he only took $17 billion.

Exhibit A: “Texas is a unique place. When we came in the union in 1845 one of the issues was that we would be able to leave if we decide to do that.”

Sentence: Lethal injection.

Who could be even more (or slightly less) loathsome than Old Thirty-Nine Percent? Lookee here.

Posted by mayor mcsleaze at 04:01 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

January 29, 2010

Three oh so very stupid people

I don't hate all Republicans. I don't even dislike all of them or think they're all stupid. But a very large number of R elected officials are, well, pretty fucking stupid. Recently I've started to actually think that Rep. Hensarling is coming out of his ideological shell and has finally realized that maybe a large part of what he's believed is, well, bullshit. It's always nice when people start acting like leaders instead of partisan hacks.

However, Jeb is kinda unique in the R caucus. There's still Rep. Gohmert from Tyler who, no shit, is worried that if DADT is repealed, he's going to be in a fox hole and some Teh Gay is going to try to make out with him. I think the motherfucker either doesn't own a mirror or, if he does, has somehow deluded himself into thinking he's irresistible to gay men. Here's what he looks like...

Louie, bubba, ain't nobody looking to hook up with you. I would be willing to bet even your wife makes you wear a paper bag to bed.

And of course, there are the three dipshits Belo decided to waste airtime on Friday night at 7 pm. I really don't have the mental energy to recap the whole stupid thing, especially since I've other things to do. However, here are a few of the things I noticed...

1) Hutchison finally was able to explain, if a little slowly, how that 2005 law Perry likes to tout actually makes it easier to force the conversion of free roads to toll roads. She did a clumsy job of explaining CDAs which isn't surprising because she supports them out of one side of her mouth, then criticizes Perry for them out of the other. Her answer on TXDOT funding was simply abysmal. No meat, no substance, no real solutions. She's old and tired.

2) Perry has officially lost the crazy crown. Well, kinda. His denial that his slush fund has been anything other than a failure actually prompted laughter from the people watching here. If this were a guy under psych eval, he'd be classified as massively delusional, probably as the result of a recent psychotic break. Someone get this mofo some thorazine, stat!

3) When you were in high school, you probably fell in love with Ayn Rand. You probably had friends that did the same. You also, by graduation, fell out of love with Ayn Rand and realized she was neither a brilliant philosopher nor a great writer. You figured out that she was over simplistic, sexually submissive, rather dull and unimaginative. Most of your friends did as well, except for one chick who was a lot like Rand. Debra Medina was that chick. She's a nurse turned small business woman who has made her living off medical billing which has absolutely nothing to do with the government. A government takeover of health care wouldn't be good for Debra Medina AT ALL. In fact, it would put her little parasitic business right out. Don't you love people who rail against the government yet are sucking off it's teat? Don't you also love people who've read just enough on a subject to make themselves look REALLY stupid when they discuss it with people who know far more? Like her AWESOME sales tax idea? Yeah. Fuckity nice that.

Frankly, the rest of the thing was pretty stupid. The Q&A was, well, like an episode of Jeopardy and largely useless in an age where the candidate, if they ever needed to know who the VERY FIRST GOVERNOR OF TEXAS WAS could look up J Pinckney Henderson (for whom Henderson County is named, just FYI) in less than 60 seconds. Even on a 2G mobile phone using T9. Kinda reminded me of this bit of ass at the Statesman that was really little more than Ken Herman playing LET'S BE A DICK TO THE LITTLE BROWN GUY WHO TALKS FUNNY BY ASKING QUESTIONS THE ANSWERS TO WHICH I WIKI'D 5 MINUTES BEFORE THE INTERVIEW. Dork.

The debate was a predictable waste of time. The panel did a great job for what it was... these were good, inquisitive, professional minds who were tasked with being panelists for a debate between liars and fools.

It's a lot like, I would assume, being a brilliant director forced by a studio to do a kids movie with dogs and cats.

Just FYI, I'm doing some policy work for Shami who is actually much smarter than Ken Herman. I feel pretty certain of that. It's also one of the reasons I've not been writing a lot about Shami on the blog. However, that little lynching on the Statesman's website deserved comment. I look forward to seeing Herman shoot similar gotcha footage with the other candidates.

Posted by mcblogger at 11:06 PM | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)