Bottom of the Ballot Blues

Like the muddled mint leaves at the bottom of a mojito, the races at the bottom of the ballot can be the thing that makes the drink great, or just pulp. So, a few recommendations from the bartenders here:
Justice of the Peace, Precinct 5
I can’t believe I’m even writing this. Herb Evans is the man for the job. I don’t know why he would want such a thankless and under-appreciated position, but he does, and I’m grateful for it. He’s been there since 2000, he’s campaigned for it every cycle he’s been up for election, and he works his tail off registering voters all the damn time, for the good of the people of Travis County.
His opponent is an opportunistic douche who is only running to be contrary. Just think of the hooker I could have leased with the $300 this guy pissed away on the filing fee… What a waste.
Chair, Precinct 259
It’s a sorry day in the neighborhood when you have to issue an endorsement in a frakkin precinct chair race. Especially when the opponents are incumbent Reuben Leslie, and activist Frank Ortega. I’ve seen both of these guys prattle on about things that alternately made me yawn or stare slack-jawed in horror. I’ve seen both of them rage against or about things that aren’t really all that outrageous, and I get fatigued just thinking about the two of them going mano-a-mano.
The deal is, though, that Reuben has gone a little off the deep end with the Roberts Rules of Order freakiness. The County Executive Committee meetings have gone down the toilet since he got a bug up his butt about how things were being run, and the primary cause of agitation is the Chair of Pct. 259. Progress grinds to a halt and enthusiasm sputters when Reuben (once again) spouts off a Point of Order, or appeals to the body. I have NO DOUBT of his sincerity. I know he cares deeply about the Democratic Party. But I think he’s so far into the minor details about the organization that he’s unaware of how badly he is disrupting the whole process. I’m also a little worried that he’s going to stroke out if he gets any more wound up.
Vote for Frank Ortega, people of Pct. 259. Try a slightly different flavor of teh crazy, and see if the CEC meetings get a little less tiresome.

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