In which I take legal action against Progressive Insurance

I’ll be brief (and you can quite your snickering)… Progressive Insurance has done irreparable harm to my effort to have someone (ANYONE) name a child Pickles. Progressive, in a deliberate move to ruin my efforts and advertise that they cover family pets in the event of an accident, has begun advertising using a small dog named

PICKLES

This action will solidify in the minds of millions that pickles is ‘a pet name’ and not a name for human beings. Such action completely eliminates any chance* I ever had at finding some dipshitbrave soul who would be willing defy convention and name their child Pickles.
As a result, this will cause me excruciating mental anguish and I feel like I should be awarded, well, a lot of money. If you’d like to help with the suit (or as we’re starting to call it at McBlogger HQ, the SUPER AWESOME PAYDAY FROM PROGRESSIVE) shoot me an email.
*Harry says the chance was very slim and I reminded him he was neither a statistician nor a mathematician. Fucking know-it-all lawyers.

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