Ken Mehlman is GAY?

Apparently, the former chair of the Republican National Committee, one Ken Mehlman, is a homosexual.

In other shocking news, today the sky was blue.

Seriously, is anyone surprised by this? There are more self loathing, closeted gay men in the Republican Party than at Lilith Fair. The only thing I wonder is who’ll come out next. In Texas, there are a number of possibilities and more than a few that are confirmed (we have art!), mostly because some of you are about as discreet as Barfly after a bottle of Walker Blue.

For example, 39%’s claim on the possible prize has been rumored for the better part of a decade. As for the Dew, I think he just recently got married. Now that I think about it, the vast majority of Republican men are married so there’s probably no doubt about them being straight, right?

Yeah, and fraternity boys never end up coming out, either.

But back to Ken… he now feels kind of bad for not standing up to Rove and Bush on using gay marriage as a wedge. Mehlman exhibits the kind of moral flexibility that’s absolutely essential when working in private equity so I guess he’s landed in a good spot. Congrats, Ken! Now for some advice… there are a number of ways you handle the hair thing. Now that you’re about to go through your slut phase, you need to look into your options.

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