F*ckin’ Up! with Rick Perry

Just in time for the fall season comes an entertaining little program that, really, I think we’ll all enjoy. It involves our retarded (thanks, Dave Carney!) Governor, Rick Perry, who is running for re-election. Unlike years past where his usually good execution and unalloyed good luck were infuriating, this cycle he can’t keep from stepping in shit with every hilarious step.

The best part is that this is a REALITY SERIES that will cost the networks little (in fact, they’ll make money off it) and even you, the viewer won’t have to pay to see this bottomless pit of fail. It’ll all be provided to you, gratis, by Bob Perry, James ‘MedicareBed’ Leininger and that dbag Harold ‘NukeDump’ Simmons.

In our first episode, we find Rick upset over all the attention being drawn to the fact that his crappy campaign ads (which fail to mention that he balanced the budget with money from the federal gubmint) featured the businesses of people who, frankly, think he’s kinda the suck. And of course they’re talking about it. At some point Sarah ‘QuitterQuitter’ Palin will call and offer her advice which will be mindnumbingly stupid, except for her suggestion to have Dave Carney put out on an ice floe.

Our next episode will feature what Rachel is calling SausageFest, which I think is terribly flattering since it’s probably a bunch of mooks who support Perry and are hung like miniature schnauzers. Eatin’ meat. No joke, it’s supposedly all about eating wild game which we all know is code for cock. Guests are advised that it’s just dinner for the menfolk, no girls allowed. At the end, someone will laughingly remark that it’s like a little boy’s treehouse. Except they aren’t boys, they’re men who like to eat meat, if you know what I mean. I wonder if that wiry man with arms like a pipe cleaner will be there as well? Guess we’ll just have to watch and see.

Now, I bet you’re not so depressed about the fall TV schedule, are you?

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