Just watched the Republican debate and was sadly disappointed that such a collection of fools and dissemblers could be taken seriously as contenders for the Republican Party’s nomination for President. And that was before they started whining about President Obama.
Perry – Well, there’s not a lot to say about a man who goes jogging with a gun because he’s too much of a candyass to shoo away a coyote from his little lap dog. He showed up, which was more than I expected, and didn’t fuck up which is usually how he wins debates. Perry likes to blame others for problems he helped to create, not at all unusual for the Princess of Paint Creek. He reiterated his claim that Social Security was a ponzi scheme making clear that he doesn’t know what a ponzi scheme is, nor does he understand Social Security. Needless to say, his know-nothing appeal is strong so he’ll probably win the R nom, such is the state of the Republican primary electorate.
Romney – What really kills me about the Mormonater is his constant claim that he’s the only candidate with real world business experience, which is true except for Herman Cain and his pizza shops that he conned out of Pillsbury. Oh, and Rick Perry’s shady real estate deals. For those of you who don’t know, Romney made his money as part of Bain Capital, a private equity firm that bought businesses, laid off employees and sold the scrap. Here’s the kind of business experience Romney has had. So, if we elect him, he’ll divide and sell off pieces of the country after running up massive debt and feeding the cash to himself. He’ll call that a success.
Cain – Herman Cain is a black Republican. He wasn’t the first and he certainly won’t be the last. He’s an MBA who worked for Pillsbury while they owned the God awful Godfather’s Pizza. Now he owns Godfather’s Pizza. To say he enjoyed certain advantages that others did not is an understatement along the same lines as saying Rick Perry isn’t very subtle. I wrote about Cain back in May. What I said then, stands.
Santorum – Dude. Really? My mother’s 15 pound Schnauzer shits bigger than you.
Bachmann – Sorry Michelle. You came, you played and you lost. The game’s over for you.
Paul – Dipdeedoo, tum tiddly terp. You’re not crazy, you’re just too fully invested in ideological economics to see reality. Your economic plan is nothing more than wishful thinking, not exactly what we need in a 21st century economy that has a GDP of almost $15 trillion and a population of more than 300 million citizens. I think you’re a sweet old man, but you’re not even remotely presidential. A special note to his acolytes, AYN RAND IS A BAD WRITER WHO SPENT TOO MUCH TIME WRITING SHITTY FICTION FULL OF ONE DIMENSIONAL CHARACTERS. ANY OF HER WORKS MAKE BATTLEFIELD EARTH LOOK LIKE A MASTERPIECE OF ENGLISH LANGUAGE LITERATURE. SHE WAS ALSO ON SOCIAL SECURITY AND MEDICARE WHICH SAYS A LOT ABOUT THE REALITY OF OBJECTIVITY. NOW, MOVE OUT OF YOUR MOTHER’S BASEMENT, START HAVING SEX WITH OTHER HUMANS AND GROW UP.
Gingrich – You’re still here? Bubba, you’re done. You can go home now and start working on paying off that Tiffany’s debt.
Huntsman – Seriously, this is it? Your one and only hope was to be the sane Republican who lives in reality and doesn’t believe in Republican Fantasy Economics. You could have beaten Obama by basing economic policy on reality, not political fantasy. You could have been President. Now, you’ll finish out as one of the also-rans of the 2012 Republican Primary. You’re being overshadowed by the son of a dirt farmer from rural north Texas. Hell, you’re being overshadowed by a crazy bitch who takes in foster kids for income and has a husband everyone thinks is gay, except of course her. You’ve already debased yourself and I fear you’ll go far further. Should be funny to those of us who enjoy cautionary tales.
As a side note, watching the MSNBC post game is really funny. Dumbshit of the Night goes to Lawrence O’Donnell who apparently thinks Perry did some damage to himself tonight. Sure. O’Donnell doesn’t understand Perry wins just by not shitting into his hand and eating it. These national folks are so unprepared for Perry, it’s really sad.