The Quitter has endorsed Ted Cruz in the Republican Senate race. Sources within the Cruz campaign have confirmed the endorsement and stated that the staff is split into two camps, one which is excited about the endorsement (internally, they’re called ‘The Fucksticks’) and the other which is busily preparing resumes in the desperate hope they will be picked up to work on a general election race after Cruz loses.
Here at Team McBlogger, we’re absolutely stunned by the run of bad luck Cruz has had. We considered him a legitimate threat mostly because he actually believes the sophomoric bullshit he spouts, is a great speaker and could have proven a formidable opponent for any of the Democrats.
Oh, who the fuck am I kidding… all the Republican candidates, even the one who drools and sporadically urinates in his pants, are formidable opponents for any of the Democrats who will be running their campaigns on essentially nothing.