You tried. You failed. It’s over for you.

The White House has decided that Texas must remain a part of the United States. No word on whether the idiot authors of the petition to secede will now request that the state be split into five different states. Personally, I’d like to see that as it would create three new Democratic states and two new Republican states, irreversibly shifting the balance of power in the US.

For those of you who need a refresher on the petition to secede, here are some details:

The petition was created by Micah Hurd, a Texas National Guardsman and an engineering student at the University of Texas in Arlington. He couldn’t be reached for comment Monday.
In asking that Texas be allowed to leave the country, the petition cited the “economic difficulties stemming from the federal government’s neglect to reform domestic and foreign spending.” It argued that given the size of Texas’ economy and because the state has a balanced budget, it would be “practically feasible for Texas to withdraw from the union.”
The petition also said the federal government didn’t share the same values held by the Founding Fathers.

Never mind that spending isn’t really our problem, it’s income. Also, Texas isn’t the economic dream some patriots might imagine. The Federal Government supports an enormous number of Texans and that responsibility would fall to the state which we could ill afford. And no, I’m not talking about the welfare folks… I’m talking about the elderly.

So, now that things are settled, can we seriously discuss the state budget and how bad the Lege is about to fuck things up?

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