Yet again, I am disturbed from my retirement.]
So, I’m driving back to the Home For Rejected Fast Food Mascots from the liquor store after picking up my nephew Grimace a bottle Cirroc–Rosemary Lehmberg’s favorite–because his disability check is already used up this month and he’s depressed, and somebody texts me this Dallas Morning News article about Rick Perry and his massive (though tiny, according to Maxey’s book) erection for deregulation.
I get about a third of the way through, and realize that the DMN has failed to place some of the blame for the Plainview Salmonella outbreak where it belongs.
So, after walking through the cloud of bong smoke coming from Mayor McCheese’s apartment, and stepping over a passed out drunk Officer Big Mac in the courtyard moaning in a pool of his own vomit, I get back to my penthouse suite, and decide I must write about this.
Back in 2010, a very clear case was made that the Texas Department of Agriculture, headed by Lieutenant Governor wanna be Todd Staples, could have ensured that Peanut Corporation of America was shut down if their inspector–who was doing an inspection to certify the rat-feces-laden plant as “organic” (rat shit is organic, no?) –hadn’t taken the plant manager’s “check-is-in-the-mail” excuse on their health permits. Even the complete mouth-breathing morons at PolitiFarce forcibly yanked their heads out of their sphincters long enough to acknowledge this:
Still, its inspector admittedly slipped up in this case. If he’d flagged the Plainview plant for lacking the required food manufacturer license, it might have been shut down or its conditions improved. That could have prevented the 2009 illnesses and deaths.
This begs the question: is anyone in the Lt. Governor’a race going to actually attempt to hold Staples accountable for his legions of screw-ups at TDA? I mean, come ON: no other state agency in Texas headed by an elected official is in as piss-poor shape as TDA. Now, they don’t even bother to put stickers on gas pumps that show when they were last inspected. Just stickers with a 1-800 number to call. And there are still hundreds of gas stations out there lacking current inspections and TDA permits. The agency has failed in its most basic responsibilities of consumer protection and nobody is holding this useless head of hair accountable.
I’d have more to say, but I’ve got to go. Sundae shit in the courtyard again–right on Officer Big Mac’s passed out self–and Birdie is running around screaming that The Colonel has dropped his pants and is trying to goose her–again; he is not taking his retirement from KFC well at all. And, later tonight, this misfit bunch of idiots is holding an intervention for the Fry Kids–they are on meth, again. This is what I get for volunteering to be condo board president at this hellhole.
[you may wish to brush up on your McDonalds mascot knowledge here–Uncle O’Grimacy]