Life’s easy at AFP

Gas Tax Hikes Are Not The Answer is the title of a ridiculous little piece from a halfwit at Americans For Prosperity (to differentiate from Americans for Hardship and Strife), the Koch puppet group that spends most of it’s time whining about how climate change isn’t real and begging people to forget the last 35 years of trickle down economic failure while supporting still more trickle down solutions.

We sent them a brief Q&A to ask them about transportation issues but never got a response…here are some of the questions:

1) Whose cock do you prefer, David or Charles?
2) When you blow Charles does he like anything special? Maybe a little finger in the backdoor action?
3) What is the breakdown of transportation needs in this country between maintenance/improvement and new construction?
4) How much would you estimate is lost annually on highway beautification and non-transportation projects?
5) If there’s a shortfall between the needs in #3 and the budget waste (we’ll cut you some slack on this) in #4, how would you propose making up the difference without increasing the gas tax?
6) When David fucks you, does he grunt or is that only with the male AFP staff?

Obviously 1, 2, 5 and, 6 are hard to answer without input from AFP.

On number 3, the answer is roughly $1.5 trillion in deferred maintenance and about another $2 trillion in infrastructure upgrades over the next ten years.

On number 4, in Texas at least, the money not specifically spent on roads amounts to about $2bn annually, part of which pays for some pretty good stuff that keeps people off the roads. But AFP doesn’t care about any of that nonsense, so we’ll use the full amount and adjust it across the country to about $30bn annually.

Just to make sure you’re keeping up, you have about $3.5 trillion in needs over 10 years and about $300 bn in available funding. So for number 5 you have to make up a gap of about $3.2 trillion and knowing the meat puppets at AFP like I do, I’m sure they’re thinking to make it up through privatization which has failed. Everywhere. Most recently, we have default on the 130 tollway in Austin. That was a project AFP LOOOOOOOVED. So, with that option off the table, what’s next…

Well, we could go with corporate taxes which are at a historical low in terms of federal tax receipts. We could do that and marry it with debt sales that would reduce the impact on federal deficits by matching the liability with the revenue stream. We could also, you know, increase the gas tax which has inflated to about a quarter of what it was worth 20 years ago.

So, there are your options. AFP may be as dishonest as a con man trying to sell you discounted travelers cheques in the grocery store parking lot, but I’ll be happy to tell you the truth. We don’t have enough money to fund the needs… put that in your poll next time, AFP, and then maybe I’ll start thinking of you as something more than the Kochs cockwipe.

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