I fucking told you so (Todd Staples Edition)

I don’t get to say I told you so often, mostly because people get really irritated when you point out that you were right and they were, you know, wrong.

But this time, I fucking love it. Remember this? Well, take a look at this…


This is West Texas Intermediate oil, per barrel, over the last three months.

Yeah, O&G people… you just got Stapled!

Posted in Stupid Republican Tricks, Texas | Comments Off on I fucking told you so (Todd Staples Edition)

And then there’s Maude

Senator Davis recently reveDAvis e nightaled that her stance on open carry was less about her own feelings and more about… wait for it… politics.

But she added, “There is one thing that I would do differently in that campaign, and it relates to the position that I took on open carry. I made a quick decision on that with a very short conversation with my team and it wasn’t really in keeping with what I think is the correct position on that issue.”

To those who ardently defended the Senator and declared to everyone who would listen that this was something other than pandering… fuck you. Seriously, you deserve to be fucked by an elephant dick. And you’re stupid.

To Senator Davis, if you can’t control your campaign and run on your own platform, what the hell were you expecting to do as Governor? AG Abbott may be carnival scum but at he least he believes what he’s saying.

To the Davis team… honestly, thanks for making me look like a chump. You never, at any point, knew what you were doing and I feel like a punk for ever giving you gimps the benefit of the doubt.

photo credit : Michael Ainsworth/The Dallas Morning News

Posted in Stupid Democratic Tricks, Texas | Comments Off on And then there’s Maude

Battleground Butthurt: The Intense Butthurt of Battleground Texas

Poor, poor Battleground Texas.

Like a meth addict in denial, they simply cannot admit that their own problems, and not anything external (aside, from perhaps, an uninspiring, poor candidate at the too of the ticket), is the cause of all their problems.

Like a meth addict blaming pancakes and not the pipe for their miserable, rotting, foul-stank teeth, Battleground has found yet another Boogeyman (surprise, surprise):


The Houston Chronicle article referred to is here.

Clearly, Baby Jesus and Santa Clause didn’t hear my pleas when I told them all I wanted for Christmas was the Battleground Butthurt to stop.
Oh, the butthurt is intense. Blistering, in fact. Never mind that this law has been on the books since before the two months Wendy Davis spent in a single-wide with no electricity, or that the largest turn-out primary in Texas history–the 2008 Primaries–happened under essentially the same rules.

Battleground Texas is already setting up the scapegoat for their next round of failure. God, to be the victim of that much butthurt must be intense.

Let’s set aside the fact that re-certification of deputy registrars was a Democratic initiative for a moment, and talk about why it is actually one of our few election laws that actually make sense on its own.

The Legislature meets every two years, save special sessions. Federal court decisions impacting voting rights also occur from time to time. As a result, it is kind of useful to see these people re-certified. It provides some small measure of accountability, and makes sure, among other things, that volunteers know what they are doing is in harmony with the most current statutes.

For Battleground Texas, perhaps time better spent would actually be trying to figure out how to work with all of the varied organizations and campaigns in this state to do something positive other than funneling checks back to Chicago-based consultants quicker and in amounts to rival a Mafioso.

Posted in Texas | Comments Off on Battleground Butthurt: The Intense Butthurt of Battleground Texas

Don Zimmerman steps in metaphorical shit and finds it hard to remove from shoe…

The Austin Chronicle has a piece up about Don Zimmerman’s apparent SLAPP suit against the Austin Bulldog for accurately reporting Zimmerman’s lost custody battle.

Apparently, Zimmerman decided election night to end his suit, he claims because of a feeling of goodwill in victory even toward those who have wronged him. Which is, if we were forced to speculate, complete bullshit.

The Bulldog, meanwhile, is pressing ahead with their dismissal and request for damages. From everyone at McBlogger, best of luck to the Bulldog!

On a personal note, I think Zimmerman is sad little shitbox who won’t hold that seat longer than one term. During that term, he will be monstrously unsuccessful and he will accomplish few if any goals. Politicians like Zimmerman who have office shopped for years, tell people what they want to hear but never get around to explaining that they don’t have a snowball’s chance in hell of ever achieving those goals.

Reminds me of Brigid Shea’s property tax crusade of stupid.

Posted in Austin, Stupid Republican Tricks | Comments Off on Don Zimmerman steps in metaphorical shit and finds it hard to remove from shoe…

You know it’s bad…

… when even Governor Perry is calling for an investigation. That’s what appears to be happening with Jack Stick’s usage of state funds for ‘graph analysis’.

This would be funny if it weren’t so naked. At this point, Republicans aren’t even really trying to hide the corruption any more. Why bother when 50% of the voters in this state would vote for these guys even if they took a shit on the family china. During Christmas dinner.

Posted in Texas | Comments Off on You know it’s bad…

Jack Stick back in the news!

Something fun for the Man Who Would Beat Strama…No bid contracts? And, seriously, did he really say Graph Analysis with a straight face?

Posted in Texas | Comments Off on Jack Stick back in the news!

John Cornyn never changes

From a politico piece about how Senator Cruz is still acting an asshole comes this quote about the real focus of Sen. John Cornyn…

“Sen. McConnell and I are making the best decisions we can to demonstrate that we are a responsible alternative to what we had the last four years,” said incoming Senate Majority Whip John Cornyn, a fellow Texas Republican, when asked about Cruz’s tactics. “So no single member is going to determine that direction. It’s going to be what’s best for the conference — and what’s best for our brand.”

Isn’t it easier when John just admits his focus is on his party rather than the country?

The number two Republican in the Senate is more interested in petty Republican politics than in the country or even his own state of Texas.

Yep, it IS easier.

Posted in Texas | Comments Off on John Cornyn never changes

A Nu Start

Who did it better?

tobias funke


Posted in Texas | Comments Off on A Nu Start

Jens Weidmann is the fucking problem

While the Fed was flooding the world with dollars that EVERY SINGLE REPUBLICAN stupidly said would create hyperinflation (which it didn’t), the Europeans were actually implementing a plan that was almost exactly like the one the Republicans wanted for the US… Cut spending to the bone, cut benefits to the needy, ‘tighten the belt’ and raise interest rates to stop inflation from killing us all. Here, the Republicans only got about half of what they wanted and as a result, our recovery has been building strength month after month.

Europe, meanwhile, has been a disaster. Now, the Europeans are doing what we did and the only reason I’m pointing this out (it’s really not a political thing) is because now, as they have since the credit crisis and crash of 2008, the obstacle is Ze Germans. Specifically, Jens Weidmann at the German Bundesbank. He’s been all over the place whining. THIS is my favorite part…

Mr Weidmann also said that the ECB’s Governing Council, of which he is a member, was more concerned about a prolonged period of low inflation rather than “broad-based deflation”.

The depth of dumb here is stultifying. Using food as an analogy, inflation is like unsweetened tea… no one really likes it, but you can still drink it. Deflation is like being stabbed in the head with a jackhammer while Jens Weidmann stands there, watching, eating an apple that’s clearly started to turn.

The best thing that could happen to the economy in Europe is for Jens Weidmann to take a vacation for a few decades. He’s the reason unemployment is still so unreasonably high and the economy is so bad in Europe.

Posted in Economy, International Hijinx | Comments Off on Jens Weidmann is the fucking problem

Wendles and the Best Ad In The History Of Ever

THIS is fantastic… I’d love to see it paired with a positive track, but even without it’s still a very good ad that plays into the commonly held notion that Greg Abbott is very much about himself (and you can go fuck yourself).

This is one of the few times during this dreary campaign when I’ve been genuinely impressed with the strategy AND the implementation AT THE SAME TIME. I don’t know if this will be enough so late in the game, but I do know that it’s fantastic to see Wendy finally kick the motherfucker in the balls.

And just so we’re clear, I think this ad is FAR too easy on Abbott.

Now, for those of you who think this is desperate, you’re wrong. You don’t run an ad like this, with this kind of restraint, unless you know it’ll move the voters you need to shift. As for the folks out there, especially liberals, who are all wound up over how mean it all is, quit being a dumbass. Especially this guy who is on his fainting couch even now. This is Texas and Abbott has made a big deal about being in a wheel chair… it’s high time Texans had the chance to put that into context with his career shutting the door on other victims.

Outstanding work, Team Wendy.

Posted in Texas | Comments Off on Wendles and the Best Ad In The History Of Ever